Mr. Adofa Williams, Trinidad & Tobago
Raising Boys into Men
I am testifying unapologetically about what I have observed and lived throughout my life. Real men are a dying breed. The lack of real men as it relates to our faith, parents, parenting, and the women in our lives is an ongoing issue. Please don’t get me wrong, as a whole, good guys are a dime a dozen.
As a single father, fathering is even more challenging for me because I had no one to guide me. I had to learn from what I saw, and then play catch up. Though rewarding, it is not as easy as I initially thought. One thing is for sure is that if a man is not strong he can be very easily distracted from his goals and his purpose. We tend to think with our private more than with our head. We give precedence to women, possessions and the opinion of friends over our children, sometimes leaving our children completely out of the picture.
Brothers, our children are an extension of us. They are the legacy we will leave behind to carry on our name. Children learn from what they see and hear their parents do and say, remember that guys. One of the many things I learned from my mother is undying love. The undying love that I have for my kids is the surety that they will have, even if I have to go without. It compels me not to pamper them, because I want them to understand the value of people, places and things. Moreover, I will never encourage them to ever do wrong, no matter how bad life gets.
Being a young man myself, I’m always talking to my sons. I’m real and straight to the point with them about life – that life can be good and bad at times. I have told them many times over to:
Never sit and wait for things to happen go and make things happen.
Respect your elders.
I can only guide you to the park, but you must walk it.
Mistakes will be made. Don’t dwell on them, learn from them.
Open doors, pull out chairs, and show your girlfriend love and respect.
Love life.
Never forget where you come from, and don’t burn bridges.
I am and will always be proud of my kids, even if they don’t turn out to be doctors or lawyers. They are and will be what God wants them to be, through His grace. And I know my parents are proud of me for my accomplishments, the greatest of which are my loving kids. Most of all I am thankful to God.