Post by Adofa Williams, Trinidad & Tobago
I can relate to single women raising a child who will eventually grow up to be a man. I come from a single parent home where my mother tried her best to raise my sister and I in the right way. I have seen my mother cry and laugh. Growing up we had very little to nothing. Many times over mom made sure that we ate, while leaving herself undone – with only faith in the Lord holding her together. I can go on and on about all the sacrifices my mother made. Her sacrifices and all that she did made me the man I am today, for which I am thankful.
I am a single parent with kids of my own. I learned from my own life experiences and from the guys I grew up with. Along the way I picked up some real life teachable moments that have helped me to raise my young sons into men. Having experienced what I went through growing up, I worked hard to keep my kids from going through those same things. Today I can proudly say that I am happy that my sons didn’t have to get involved in or do some of the things that I did. Believe me, I have done some real irresponsible things.
I believe that men who grow up with only female leadership can do both harm and good. A mother can teach young men but so much. A critical part of what she teaches a son is how to relate to a woman’s needs and how to comfort her. With all the good a mother does, a man is needed in a boy’s life to give him structure. It’s not that a woman can’t do the same, but women are nurturers by nature and men are constructive protectors. I must admit I’m still learning, as I didn’t have a real father figure to teach me how to be a man. Raising young men is a progressive work. I continue to instill in my sons the necessary wisdom, so they will understand how to treat and interact with women. Through it all, there’s nothing like a praying mother.
You ask how will you know you’ve done a good job as a parent, It’s when you see your children grow up and reciprocate the love you gave them back to you and to their new family.
Being a parent is a never ending job.