The Power of PRESENCE

Fatherhood/Manhood – a key component to child rearing. Never underestimate the power of presence. This axiom was typified near the turn of the twenty-first century when young male and adult female elephants from South Africa’s Kruger National Park and Game Reserve were relocated to Pilanesberg National Park while

adult males (bulls) were killed or retained at Kruger, a measure taken to quell Kruger’s burgeoning elephant population. What ensued at Pilanesberg was extremely distressing. Mutilated rhinoceros’ carcasses were found at Pilanesberg, and as time passed the number of violent killings grew. Upon investigation it was discovered that roving bands of the very juvenile male elephants from Kruger were wreaking havoc. These culprits were not only chasing down and killing rhinos, but they were also terrorizing other animals as well. Further examination concluded that the absence of adult male elephants was the destabilizing factor in the young male lives, dramatically disrupting their social behavior and impairing their ability to make appropriate decisions. In their natural hierarchy adult bulls model behaviors and keep the young ones in line. In an effort to curb the crisis, Park Rangers flew in some of the older bulls from Kruger. Within weeks the attacks ceased. The natural world and science have confirmed that the mature male presence is essential to social development. Never underestimate the power of presence.

I would never be as condescending to compare our humanity to any animal.  However, there is a lesson to be extracted from the above. The absence of positive male role models/fathers is generationally debilitating to individuals as well as to society: 70% of persons incarcerated, 80% of rapists, 71% of high school dropouts 63% of teens who commit suicide, all have a common denominator; they come from homes with either absent or abusive fathers. Literally every social ill and every social pathology can be linked to a deficiency in fatherhood.

We currently live in a society in which 2.3 million individuals are incarcerated. The incarceration rate in the U.S. is by far the highest in the world. Mass incarceration trends have adversely and disproportionately impacted our homes; 1 out of every 28 children has an incarcerated parent. That number becomes 1 in 8 when applied to the African American child. In the U.S., 40% of children are born to single parent households; that is 76% when speaking of black households. Manhood, men, fathers are absent, incarcerated, ineffective, uninformed, misguided, miseducated, misled, preoccupied. The consequence: Generations of suffering, misguided, and maladjusted children.

The impact and absence of a father, a man, in the lives of youth can never be underestimated. Fathers model roles, establish order, and exhibit the methodologies of manhood to their children. The reappearance and reintegration of fathers into our homes and communities would (over time) reverse societal ills caused by their absence and redeem the family – the root of society. A positive role model in a young man’s life greatly improves his chances of success later in life. Never underestimate the power of presence.

#FreddieWilliams, #Man-U-ScriptBook

Excerpt from the book Man_U-Script: the ethos of manhood, available on Amazon.com

Dear Brother,

Photo by RF._.studio from Pexels

What does a mother do when she learns that her little boy has been exposed to p0rn0graphy? What does she do when she realizes that her elementary school age son has gone further than exposure, but he has actually been watching p0rn?What is she to do, especially when she knows the dark road that p0rn can lead a man down?

Outside of confiscating his device(s), what should a mother do. How does a mother train up a child in the way that he is supposed to go?

Your sisters need to hear from you. Please, please advise!

I’m going to be a man one day

Poem by Malachi with mommy’s help

I’m going to be a man one day
How do they think and what do they say?
I’m going to be a man one day
Does a man even get to play?
What do they do?
Hey man! I’m going to be like you!
What does a man do when he’s mad?
And can he cry when he’s sad?

Do you ever eat snacks like chips or something?
Or do you always eat vegetables?
Are all men good at sports?
Will I be tall or will I be short?
Do all men like music?
And what do men do when they get sick?
Do they go to the hospital or do they stay home and eat soup?
Do they wear shorts or do they wear suits?

I’m going to be a man one day
I’m going to be strong like my uncles
Funny like Uncle Owen and Uncle Rob
Smart like Uncle Owen, Uncle Alva, Uncle Allen, Uncle James, Uncle Aaron, and Papa
Rich like the HipHopPreacher Eric Thomas
Godly like my friend Mr. Shofar
Loving like all of my uncles
And happy like me.

I’m going to be a man one day
And that’s what I want to be.

Give it some thought.

By Owen Williams
There is nothing new that has not been said before. So what can I say that is useful to a father or just any black man in this world as we have come to know it?

Photo by Mídia from Pexels

Here’s a bit of wisdom that would have been helpful to me earlier in life:
When we decide to play a game of basketball, football, tennis or any other game, we rarely expect it to be easy. In fact, we expect to be challenged, and we do not expect the rules to change during the game. However, life is different from other challenging experiences and any other game, in that the rules can change in an instant.

My primary goal here is to be brief. So my quick advice: Identify and list the qualities that you think embody the type of human being that you would look up to for guidance. Find the closest available mentor who exemplifies those values, and then go about slowly, if necessary, making adjustments in your everyday life that will move you towards being that kind of human being.

Secondly, appreciate that women are uniquely different from men in many ways. But know that in the more fundamental ways women are like us men. They simply require a different operating manual. They deserve love, friendship, understanding, and distance (when necessary, to cool the GIS off). All the stuff we give to our Male counterparts with ease, they too deserve. Thirdly, they are better than men. The great ones will change your life forever. Try, as soon as you can, to manage your appetites.

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