(excerpt from the book Man-U-Script)
by Oliver R. Ratney: My father showed me that a man who is dedicated to the well being of his children exemplifies an authentic characteristic of manhood. He showed me that a man is one who is present in the lives of his children.
My dad was a hardworking dedicated man. He held down a couple of jobs, in addition to being a single father for most of my formative years. He made sure that he provided for the family. (I get my work ethic from him.) He was intentional about creating memorable experiences with and for us. I can say without hesitation that I enjoyed my childhood with him.
He took us to different places to see different things. He’d take me to the Cubs and White Sox games, and to football games. We went to basketball games, to auto shows, and all that kind of stuff. I do the same with my kids, to show them that there’s more to life than being glued to a computer.
There was no one like him. My father had a presence that commanded respect, one that made you straighten up quick. He wasn’t super strict, but he meant business. When I did wrong, I paid the price. For the most part and because of him, I was wise enough not to chase trouble or bow to peer pressure. I knew what he could do, and I didn’t want to incur the wrath. Like I said, he was a presence. He was more of a threat than the gang. If I even thought to entertain gang life, I’d have been more afraid of dealing with him than with anyone out in the street. And, without too many words, he made sure I knew it.
My dad’s primary focus was to make sure that we were provided for – food, clothing, roof over our heads, and positive experiences. He wasn’t always involved as I would have liked, but he was the pillar of strength, the stability and the father that we needed. More importantly, we knew he loved us.