Rules To Teach Your Son
Daughters Need Their Fathers
Royalty, Not Brokenness
Manhood: A Choice
A Missive From Behind The Walls
Un-Cycled
LC (excerpt from the book Man-U-Script)
I am presently an incarcerated young Black man in America. I share with you an abridged version of my life, so that you can begin to understand my plight and who I am as a Black man in America.
I was born in the early 80’s. Not long after my 2nd or 3rd birthday my father abandoned me and my mother, leaving me to be raised solely by my mother, other family members, and by whichever man that came into our lives…
Even though my father was absent from my life and I had a new father figure (by then), I started to see how much my father and I were alike. I was headstrong and increasingly angry. The anger that I harbored turned into resentment that festered into hatred for my father. I had grown tired of the lies and broken promises. My dear mother, who was employed as a police officer, was also tired. She was tired of having to explain my father’s broken promises each time he failed to visit me as he said he would. The combination of my anger, stubbornness, and resentment was the source of my rebellion…I was one of the smartest students in my class and was generally a good kid, but my anger caused me to make irrational decisions.
By the age of 12 I was sexually active. I learned about sex from watching pornography. I started smoking weed at age 13 and was selling it at 14. All the while I was packing bags at the local supermarket to buy my own Jordans and outfits. Shortly after that, late in the summer of ’93, I became a member of a gang. Within that same year a classmate introduced me to the business of selling crack cocaine.
My very first night in the business I worked about 4 ½ hours selling crack to people from all walks of life. The crack moved quickly…It was the night that changed my life and threw me deeper into the revolving cycle of death, that so many Black men in America get sucked into today.
While my mother was working and doing double shifts to maintain household expenses, her only son was knee deep in the drug game, gang life, and having sex with multiple females, some twice my age. Drawn by the addiction for fast money, women, power, and clothes that selling crack gave me, I fell deeper into the abyss of the street life. I didn’t find out until late in the game that prison and or death were a possibility. I was blinded by my lust and infatuation for the materialistic gain that drug dealing provided.
No one schooled me on how to be a drug dealer. I learned the ins and outs of drug dealing on my own through trial and error. There were opportunities for me to be schooled on the greater and better things in life, perhaps by an older male family member…I could have listened to and learned from a male figure, not just because of the relationship or my admiration for him, but because of his example of manhood. I realize that it takes a man to raise a man. No disrespect or offense, but truth is truth. A man can’t teach a female how to be a woman, and a female can’t teach a male to be a man any more than a rose can produce a tulip.
Much praise and respect is due to my mother who raised and cared for me to the best of her ability. I as a man take full responsibility for my actions, because this is what a man does. However, I do know that if my father, who I now love and respect, had been a man and taken responsibility for me when I was a child as he was supposed to, maybe just maybe things would have turned out different for me. I was my father’s responsibility. He was supposed to raise me to the best of his ability and teach me right from wrong, instead of leaving me to learn on my own, through friends, or from the street. For every action there’s an equal or greater reaction. If my father had only done his part, I think it would have changed the turn of events that led to my incarceration.
Subscribe to MoorBrothers.com, and keep your finger on the pulse of manhood specific to the Black man. Are you a man raising children? At MoorBrothers we're talking about the nuances of manhood, fatherhood, and mothers raising sons. Join the conversation, or simply stay abreast of the how to's and the what's ups!
By submitting this form, you are consenting to receive marketing emails from: . You can revoke your consent to receive emails at any time by using the SafeUnsubscribe® link, found at the bottom of every email. Emails are serviced by Constant Contact
Straight Talk: Young man, commit to excellence.
Be Strong
Post by Mr. Chris Vann, Detroit, Michigan
I have two sons growing up in a society that seems to be opposed to men of color. But the opposition does not matter, because if God is for you, then who can be against you? (Romans 8:31)
I know what it’s like to live as a Black man in America. First of all, you have to know who you are in the Lord. Put God first and know that you are more than a conqueror, despite what the world says and despite what life throws at you. Be encouraged as you walk in the strength of God’s love and His peace. Of course, it’ll seem like things will be hard. Those challenges only make you stronger. Never give up. Never give in. Fight the good fight, walking in God’s peace and love. Never let your heart be shattered.
Being a young man takes patience. Young man, be encouraged. Never give in or give up, for you are truly more than a conqueror. (Romans 8:37) Always speak the positive over yourself. Never allow yourself to think negative. You truly are a blessed man of the Most High. He put you here for a purpose. Recognize that only God and God alone has you in the palm of His hand. It doesn’t matter where you come from. What matters is where you’re going. Keep walking the straight path. When you feel alone sometimes, know that you’re not alone. When you feel weak and given to worry, know that God’s got you. No matter what people may say, know that you are blessed. Be a leader not a follower. You are a mighty man of valor. Yes, you may fall several times, but know that you will reach your destination. Be strong young man.
Be strong mama, as you put your hands to the plow. Raising a boy into a man is a labor of love. Your son will never forget all that you’ve done for him. Even though at times it seems like it doesn’t matter, surround yourself with men of faith who will speak positively into his life.
Raising children is a blessing. It’s a great joy. Love them and teach them to love, not hate. Teach them to care, and not be selfish. Teach them to be sensitive, but not weak. Teach them to trust, and not be afraid. Know that it is possible.
This is how I raised my sons.
Raising Young Men Is A Progressive Work
Post by Adofa Williams, Trinidad & Tobago
I can relate to single women raising a child who will eventually grow up to be a man. I come from a single parent home where my mother tried her best to raise my sister and I in the right way. I have seen my mother cry and laugh. Growing up we had very little to nothing. Many times over mom made sure that we ate, while leaving herself undone – with only faith in the Lord holding her together. I can go on and on about all the sacrifices my mother made. Her sacrifices and all that she did made me the man I am today, for which I am thankful.
I am a single parent with kids of my own. I learned from my own life experiences and from the guys I grew up with. Along the way I picked up some real life teachable moments that have helped me to raise my young sons into men. Having experienced what I went through growing up, I worked hard to keep my kids from going through those same things. Today I can proudly say that I am happy that my sons didn’t have to get involved in or do some of the things that I did. Believe me, I have done some real irresponsible things.
I believe that men who grow up with only female leadership can do both harm and good. A mother can teach young men but so much. A critical part of what she teaches a son is how to relate to a woman’s needs and how to comfort her. With all the good a mother does, a man is needed in a boy’s life to give him structure. It’s not that a woman can’t do the same, but women are nurturers by nature and men are constructive protectors. I must admit I’m still learning, as I didn’t have a real father figure to teach me how to be a man. Raising young men is a progressive work. I continue to instill in my sons the necessary wisdom, so they will understand how to treat and interact with women. Through it all, there’s nothing like a praying mother.
You ask how will you know you’ve done a good job as a parent, It’s when you see your children grow up and reciprocate the love you gave them back to you and to their new family.
Being a parent is a never ending job.